• About

Steph Olivieri Bourbon ~ Writing Coach

~ I TEACH emerging female writers in tv/film & novels HOW to create stories to fall in love with✨© Stephanie Bourbon 2022

Steph Olivieri Bourbon ~ Writing Coach

Tag Archives: dialogue

How To Go Deeper With Your Characters

22 Thursday Apr 2021

Posted by StephOBourbonWriter in Children's books, Novels, Writing (film & television)

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

characters, dialogue, how to write, novel writing, screenwriting, Story, storytelling, Writing, writing characters, writing fiction, writing tips

Hey, Writers! 

Happy Thursday. This week I’m talking about when you get that dreaded feedback that goes something like “I couldn’t connect with the characters” or “she/he wasn’t believable” or “I just didn’t care.” And, there’s more too but you get the point. 

Your story is fine, but the reader, or agent, or editor, just couldn’t connect. 

What do you need to do to fix it? 

If the feedback is that they couldn’t connect or care about the characters, then you need to do more work there. 

Revisions like this can seem impossible and your gut may be saying to just keep sending it out to others until someone likes it. I’ve seen writers do this and after two years the agent who took a chance couldn’t sell the work and then drops them and they are right back where they started. 

I want to save you time and heartache. 

There could be many reasons that this is the feedback you are getting. 

1. Your characters are living on the surface

2. Your dialogue isn’t strong

3. Your characters wants/needs and goals aren’t present 

4. Your plotting and story arcs are nonexistent (yes some character problems go back to storytelling basics)

There are a lot of reasons but let’s start with these because they are the most common.

YOUR CHARACTER LIVES ON THE SURFACE

This means that you haven’t gone deep enough, and hey, I know that it sucks hearing that and it’s like vaguebooking but it’s a real thing. When you aren’t going deep enough it is because you yourself don’t understand the psychology of your characters. 

What? I need that? But, I’m just writing light romance, like a Hallmark movie, she just wants to find a guy. 

Nope, that’s not good enough. You need more. Even in lighter stories, you need a real need, want, and or goals for your protagonist that drive her the entire book. The way she handles these things are because of WHO she is and that goes back to her misbelief about herself and that informs her flaws. 

The best holiday Hallmark movies have this. Trust me. 

EXERCISE-go watch any holiday Hallmark movie that you love and break it all down and you will see that it’s there. Obviously, you can’t know for 100% her misbelief but based on her actions you can make a great guess. 

READ-Wired for Story & Story Genius by Lisa Cron–once you do you will understand what I mean. Every single one of us has some misbelief that was created early in life and while we don’t go around and announce it to the world, “I’ll never be good enough!” our actions SHOW who we are. Maybe we push people away, or maybe we have a need to always get straight As and be perfect?–this is just an example. 

Here’s an example of a great character from television from the 2000s. Logan Echolls from Veronica Mars. When we meet him, he’s kind of a dick right? Well, not really. 

We learn through his actions and dialogue and storytelling throughout the first season (your novel) that his parents are famous actors and never give him any attention and when they do it’s bad. His misbelief (or this is how I see it) is that he will never be good enough and no one will ever really like or love him because if his parents don’t, why would anyone else? So, his character flaw is that he acts like a jerk, all the time. This is his defense to keep himself safe and not get rejected because he knows that will come. Everything he does is based on that misbelief. The writers of that show dug deep! And, you can too! 

WHEN YOUR DIALOGUE IS THE PROBLEM

Ah, dialogue-my favorite tool to show who a character really is. I love it because it’s so powerful but so many writers get it wrong. They focus on being clever, especially in women’s fiction and any movie with a female lead. The trope, trend, overused thing that still happens is that the main female is headstrong and sarcastic. Now, we all can’t be that way can we? No, we can’t. If you have written this in your first draft or second, or third and you are getting feedback that the agent, reader, whomever, can’t connect to her, this is why. 

You have cleverly filled the pages with clever quips and comebacks, usually aimed at her love interest and in weaker writing he takes it! 

Steve Kaplan of Kaplan Comedy talks about this in his comedy workshop and he used an example from a movie with Kate Hudson and Luke Wilson. Kate Hudson’s character insults him over and over and he doesn’t react at all but he keeps flirting and smiling. It’s so true. No guy, no woman, no person would be okay with being insulting all the time, and yet this is used constantly. Look at The Ugly Truth as another example. Katherine Heigel’s character is always insulting Gerad Butler’s character for no reason that makes any sense, it’s really that the writers decided she would be this type of woman for no reason, and he takes it and keeps flirting with her. This is NOT what would happen. 

**BTW you can find Steve Kaplan HERE. I suggest his workshops and books for every writer-whether you are writing comedy or not. 

Back to dialogue. So, you will stop that clever rude girl and witty dialogue now. Phew, now that’s over remember that every single word that comes out of your character’s mouth MUST be said for a reason. Dialogue SHOWS us WHO your character is. Think about the way you react to a situation and what you might say and how your sister or mother does to the same? You all speak differently right? 

In Gilmore Girls, Paris Geller is a BRILLIANT example of this. Everything she says SHOWS US who she is, and all of that goes back to her misbelief about herself. I suggest you watch a few episodes, especially in the early seasons when we are getting to know her. 

Use your dialogue to show us who your characters are and you can’t go wrong. 

YOUR CHARACTER’S MOTIVES ARE MISSING 

You have some characters and a story but why they are in that story is muddled. They don’t have any stakes and so it’s boring, and not relatable at all. Now, everything doesn’t have to be life or death, it can just be internal too-like Bridget Jone’s Diary. Bridget wanted to improve herself and her dating life so pretty much all of her actions were based on this. At first, she makes a list of all the things she will change in the new year, then she decides she wants to date the bad-boy in the office, Daniel Clever, but since that is something superficial and he is a jerk, she still isn’t happy, so she gets a new job, and is still looking for happiness—the entire movie. Her motives are that she wants to be in love and she wants connection but she has the misbelief that it’s her weight because she doesn’t believe she deserves what others have and that’s why it works. Her motives are clear. 

Obviously in Harry Potter his goals are always to fight Voldermort–but are they really? Isn’t Harry a boy who desperately needs a family? Read the first book again and you’ll see that Harry has external and internal wants and needs that are clear. 

The stakes MUST be there. In all the really good Hallmark Holiday movies the main character always has a want that we learn immediately. Usually, it has something to do with a promotion at her job, but it’s always clear. Then something happens that derails that and has her questioning everything in her life, but all her actions are based on reaching that original goal. 

Look at Legally Blonde-Elle Woods wants to get married and at the beginning we learn that she believes she is going to be proposed to by her boyfriend, who instead breaks up with her so he can go to Harvard and be with a serious girl (his words, not mine). Well, Elle decides to follow him to Harvard and show him that she can be the kind of girl he wants. Her entire story is about getting this guy back, until she gets to Harvard and realizes that no matter what she does she’s never going to be good enough for him, so she learns that she can do things for herself instead of for the approval of others. It’s a “chick-flick” as they used to be called but it’s powerful like Bridget Jones is. 

 YOUR PLOTTING & BASIC STORYTELLING ARCS AREN’T WORKING

You want to be different and decide NOT to follow traditional story structure, or you simply don’t know or understand it, and therefore your story is flatlining. This isn’t because you aren’t a good writer or anything but you for some reason forgot about it, or didn’t think about it. Maybe you were focusing on wouldn’t it be cool or funny if scenes and not thinking about the big picture. 

That’s okay, for first drafts. 

You need to follow story structure. You don’t have to have your inciting incident on page 19 in your script or on the second chapter of your book but it does need to be at the beginning because it is the reason for this story. Your story starts with your character’s life being altered in some way. This needs to happen. 

Then you need to continue with traditional plotting and arcs, which I will cover in another blog but basically your story NEEDS these elements. 

Opening-WHO the story is about and WHAT they want or need

Inciting Incident-WHAT happens to set the story into motion 

New World-WHEN the story actually starts moving because of the inciting incident 

Middle-a CLEAR middle with a recommitment or mirror moment scene where your character decides to take some action 

Climax-everything comes to a head

All Is Lost Moment-when the character wants to give up or feels like they have lost whatever it is

Resolve-your character finds a way to come to a solution to her problem or how to live with her new life. 

These things must be there. 

Every scene in your story must move the story forward in these directions. There is no reason to have scenes there just because they are fun to write but don’t serve the story. Look at the strongest movies, books, or TV shows and they all do this! 

When you are super famous you can break the rules, but when you are new, or not a household name, don’t do it. Even when you are famous it can backfire. Story structure works for a reason. 

Ever have that friend who starts telling you a story and they just go on and on and there seems to be no point or they add in details that have nothing to do with what they are telling you? Don’t let that be your book or movie or TV show. 

Okay, my Dears! That is this week’s Story Concierge blog and I hope that you found it helpful. 

XO Stephanie

Please follow me on Instagram and TikTok for daily tips on writing and everything writer & story related 

TIKTOK https://www.tiktok.com/@stephbourbonauthor

INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/stepholivieribourbon/

Join my FREE Facebook group for women writers https://www.facebook.com/groups/StoryConcierge/

Sign up to be on my VIP email list here https://www.stephaniebourbon.com/join-my-email-list

 

Dialogue DOs and DON’TS

04 Tuesday Jun 2019

Posted by StephOBourbonWriter in Novels, Writing (film & television)

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

dialogue, Film, novel, storytelling, Television, writers life, Writing, writing dialogue, writing tips

dialoguedosanddonts

 

Some quick tips on writing dialogue.

I’m traveling this week and next for a writing conference so these are shorter posts.

Please tune into my new YouTube channel HERE because I will be talking about dialogue in several videos I am recording now. As well, I am launching my Who Said That? Dialogue course this fall.

What questions do you have about writing dialogue?

POST here in the comments or email me stephanie@judaniebean.com

find me on social media.

I’d LOVE to hear from you and chat about talking in movies, books, TV, plays!!!

xo Stephanie

 

Writing Goals for the Week?

28 Tuesday May 2019

Posted by StephOBourbonWriter in Children's books, Novels, Writing (film & television)

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

dialogue, Film, goals, novel, Story, story concierge, storytelling, Television, TV writing, writers life, Writing, writing community, writing dialogue, writing goals, writing tips

GoalswritingMay28

 

Happy first day of the new week—because yesterday was a holiday—I hope you did something fun.

My husband and I went to see the new Ryan Reynolds movie—Detective Pikachu and while we totally enjoyed it, I found myself wondering why I didn’t really care about the characters, especially the main character.

Did you see it? What did you think?

We also watched all of DEAD TO ME—and that was brilliant in every way.

The characters were so well developed. There was no telling-everything we found out we did in the right way-they ever used flashbacks effectively. Every episode ended with what I call a page turner (even in TV shows)—it made us binge instead of waiting for the next day. The dialogue was all perfect.

***THIS IS A SHOW TO WATCH TO LEARN craft of storytelling. I can’t recommend it enough.

***Warning if the F word offends you, then it’s probably not the show for you though.

Have you seen it?

So, I’m a day late in posting my goal post for the week-which usually I put out on Mondays. But, since I took most of the day off to recharge I figured that a lot of you did as well.

Now, it’s time to write down those goals!!!

Happy writing!!!

Please subscribe, share here and on social media.

For more on writing, news, tips, and tricks you can find me here!

www.judaniebean.com

www.youtube.com/stephaniebourbon

Join the STORY CONCIERGE FB GROUP 

XO Stephanie

Tips for Tuesday–DIALOGUE TAGS

09 Tuesday Apr 2019

Posted by StephOBourbonWriter in Children's books, Novels, Writing (film & television)

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

dialogue, fiction, Film, Films, Novels, Story, Television, writers life, Writing, writing dialogue

TuesdayTipApril9

Dialogue tags continue to stump many writers, new and experienced.

I’m not sure why this is, maybe it’s because we as writers feel the overwhelming need to paint a detailed picture. We want the reader to not miss even for a second what we mean—right?

She said angrily. She yelled with the noise of thunder. He howled like a wolf. –these are not needed.

My rule of thumb is when in doubt use SAID.

***The way a character speaks is so uniquely them that it should be obvious who is speaking but sometimes it’s not, so fine–use he said, she said, they said..

Don’t over think it.

In preparing for this blog, I found this article that does a great job of further explaining what I mean.

I have posted the link below. I hope you like it and I hope that it helps!

https://www.novel-writing-help.com/dialogue-tags.html

An exercise: tell your friend, spouse, neighbor, anyone a story about a conversation you had with someone else, do you ever overly describe the way they said it? HINT–you don’t. People don’t. Go do this and you’ll see what I mean.

If you do. If you are the type who uses adjectives to describe the way someone spoke–well that just might be YOU and the way you as a character speaks, but in books it pulls readers out. In screenplays and teleplays, it confuses the actors–or they will follow exactly instead of doing what comes naturally. I would say in scripts—NEVER qualify ever. Scripts don’t need tags.

Tip for Tuesday–DIALOGUE-Be UNIQUE

02 Tuesday Apr 2019

Posted by StephOBourbonWriter in Novels, Writing (film & television)

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

dialogue, fiction, Film, Films, Novels, Story, Television, Writing, writing dialogue

TuesdayApril2ndDialogue

I’m traveling to the Iceland Writers Retreat this week so this will be short but to the point.

Dialogue is so important in showing us who the character is. This is true for all writing. Screenplays and teleplays and stage plays rely so heavily on the way characters speak and what they say that it’s even more important to nail it.

This doesn’t mean being overly clever, it means being UNIQUE.

One example that I LOVE is the show, the GILMORE GIRLS. They have a very unique way of speaking. It’s very specific and so much that other characters in the show comment on the way that Rory and Lorelai speak. Watch it. You’ll love it, or hate it, either way, you will see what I mean.

Other shows that have GREAT & UNIQUE DIALOGUE ARE:

FRIENDS

THE BIG BANG THEORY (especially Sheldon)

FELICITY

GREY’S ANATOMY

Homework this week is to watch tons of TV and write down the names of shows that you love or hate because of the way they speak. Why do you feel that way?

Writing Tip for Tuesday! DIALOGUE

26 Tuesday Mar 2019

Posted by StephOBourbonWriter in Children's books, Novels, Writing (film & television)

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

creative consulting, dialogue, Film, judanie bean, Novels, story concierge, Television, who said that, Writing, writing dialogue, writing tips

Dialogue Tip

 

How people speak is the one thing that I find writers struggle with the most.

I’m not sure why this happens, my guess is that people are focusing on trying to be a good writer instead of focusing on why the characters are saying what they are saying.

I’m here to help with that because I have so much experience reading scripts for the studios for both TV & film, as well as working one on one with writers for the last 12 years.

Maybe it’s because I talk too much—my mom used to sing me that song from the 50s–YOU TALK TOO MUCH—lol It used to hurt my feelings a little but now I embrace it. I’m a talker. I love words so much and I always have something to say—it’s who I am. If I was a character in a show or book or movie—she would talk a lot.

I’m like the real like Lorelai Gilmore and often have wondered if Amy Sherman-Palladino was sitting behind me sometime in Los Angeles and was like “I have a character now” haha I also love SNOW and COFFEE! ….okay, really joking around.. but I am a lot like that character. 

So talking is kind of my thing.

I love dialogue driven scripts, books and films, if they are done well.

Today’s TIP is to resist the urge to write in perfect grammar when your characters are speaking. I know that sounds obvious but you have no idea how many times I see this when going over other writers work. It’s like as a writer people are afraid to not write perfectly. Be careful though we do not speak in perfect grammar ever in real life so in stories your characters won’t either.

HOMEWORK—watch a show you LOVE and write down the dialogue as the characters are speaking–you will see what I mean.

HAPPY WRITING!!! 

To sign up for information on upcoming courses and exciting news hop over to my new website and sign up to be a Judanie Bean VIP

www.judaniebean.com 

Dialogue Tips

22 Friday Mar 2019

Posted by StephOBourbonWriter in Children's books, Novels, Writing (film & television)

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

character, craft, creating characters, dialogue, dialogue course, Film, Novels, Television, Writing, writing tips

dialoguetips

I’m bringing back my Who Said That? Dialogue course—hoping to have it ready by fall 2019. If you want to sign up to be a Judanie Bean (that’s my new company) VIP please head over to my website

MY WEBSITE

I will have a new site soon but for now, you can sign up via my old site.

Here is why you want to do this—are you ready?—-this is not a sales pitch—I’m going to be giving away 10 spots in this course —-yup FREEBIE—who doesn’t love freebies.

I’m doing this simply because I am building the course for writers so I really want to get feedback from YOU and roll out the best course I can in 2020, which will be full price but until then, I’m testing everything and that means FREEBIES for you!!

Hurry though because 10 goes like that * imagine I’m snapping.

What? No Books On Dialogue? Well Great News!

17 Friday Oct 2014

Posted by StephOBourbonWriter in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

ABC, ABC Talent Development, character, Children's books, dialogue, Writers

Hey everyone, I recently came upon this awesome list of great tv writing resources via ABC Talent development and still no books on dialogue. http://www.disneyabctalentdevelopment.com/recommended-reading.html

A few years ago I was working as a reader for the studios and I noticed that dialogue was one of the biggest issues writers struggled with. Mostly they wrote every character to sound exactly the same. It didn’t matter if it was a spec script, or original pilot and or a screenplay. So I created an online workshop called Who Said That? And guess what? I am bringing it back.

WhoSaidThat

I got busy with life, the passing of my father and such so I had to put it on hold, and recently I still notice that this is a problem.

I have been working on my YA and MG novels this past year and in all the groups I am in with other writes, dialogue is still an issue. Once writers get the story beats down and have a strong story, then they get stuck at stale, boring or flat dialogue.

I really want to help writers learn to write unique dialogue for your characters. VOICE means two things.

1. the writer’s voice-who he/she is as a writer.

2. the characters’ voices in the story.

It’s important, really important.

So I am launching a new course this Jan and I will have a new book out soon, I will probably have an e-book first as I want to keep the cost down for writers and I already do one on one work with writers on this.

Please swing by my new website

www.stepholivieri.com 

concierge2

and sign up for my newsletter http://eepurl.com/4hGwL for freebies and special rates for VIP members. I am also having a PRE LAUNCH sale until Dec 31st on these and all my creative consulting services. I work with screenwriters, tv writers, children’s book writers, novelists and artists. I hope you will sign up and I hope you are having a great day writing.

Please make sure to check out the ABC list too-great books, all worth getting.

Thank you so much!

Categories

  • Children's books
  • Just For Fun
  • My journey into Hollywood writing :0)
  • NEWS
  • Novels
  • Writing (film & television)
Follow Steph Olivieri Bourbon ~ Writing Coach on WordPress.com

Blogroll

  • I'm Just Sayin'
  • My Website
  • Stephanie's Facebook

Recent Posts

  • Crushing Your Query Letter
  • Why Silicon Valley Has It All
  • Why Jerry Maguire Is The Perfect Bromance
  • How To Write A Story That Works
  • Romantic Comedy Character Archetypes & Who Needs To Be Included

Tweet tweet~

  • RT @NHLFlyers: It’s 2️⃣3️⃣’s night. #HockeyFightsCancer | @oskarlindblom https://t.co/YQiiZTUYt8 1 year ago
  • RT @frankolivieri40: gofundme.com/f/in-memory-of… 2 years ago

Older and more wiser. . .

  • July 2021 (2)
  • June 2021 (1)
  • May 2021 (3)
  • April 2021 (1)
  • February 2021 (2)
  • October 2020 (1)
  • September 2020 (3)
  • July 2020 (1)
  • June 2020 (1)
  • April 2020 (1)
  • January 2020 (1)
  • December 2019 (2)
  • September 2019 (3)
  • August 2019 (3)
  • July 2019 (10)
  • June 2019 (9)
  • May 2019 (11)
  • April 2019 (15)
  • March 2019 (6)
  • February 2018 (1)
  • January 2018 (1)
  • October 2017 (1)
  • September 2017 (2)
  • August 2017 (1)
  • July 2017 (3)
  • June 2017 (1)
  • April 2017 (1)
  • December 2016 (1)
  • November 2016 (1)
  • October 2016 (1)
  • August 2016 (1)
  • July 2016 (1)
  • June 2016 (1)
  • March 2016 (1)
  • November 2015 (1)
  • October 2015 (2)
  • September 2015 (2)
  • July 2015 (1)
  • June 2015 (2)
  • May 2015 (2)
  • April 2015 (1)
  • March 2015 (2)
  • February 2015 (4)
  • January 2015 (2)
  • October 2014 (1)
  • August 2014 (1)
  • July 2014 (2)
  • June 2014 (2)
  • March 2014 (1)
  • January 2014 (2)
  • December 2013 (3)
  • October 2013 (3)
  • September 2013 (1)
  • August 2013 (4)
  • July 2013 (3)
  • November 2012 (1)
  • October 2012 (3)
  • September 2012 (4)
  • August 2012 (15)
  • July 2012 (5)
  • June 2012 (3)
  • May 2012 (4)
  • April 2012 (5)
  • March 2012 (9)
  • February 2012 (6)
  • January 2012 (17)
  • December 2011 (6)
  • November 2011 (6)
  • July 2011 (1)
  • January 2011 (2)
  • November 2010 (1)
  • October 2010 (4)
  • September 2010 (16)
  • August 2010 (8)
  • July 2010 (14)
  • June 2010 (23)
  • May 2010 (16)
  • April 2010 (12)
  • March 2010 (1)
  • January 2010 (2)
  • December 2009 (3)
  • November 2009 (4)
  • October 2009 (14)
  • September 2009 (11)

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 3,601 other subscribers
February 2023
M T W T F S S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728  
« Jul    

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

  • Follow Following
    • Steph Olivieri Bourbon ~ Writing Coach
    • Join 30 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Steph Olivieri Bourbon ~ Writing Coach
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...