More Loss

In my new YA novel, my main character is dealing with loss-like I have, and because this is so real to me, it’s real in my book which is the only good thing, I guess. People ask me a lot about the new book and I tell them. It’s about grief, pain, loss, fear and going on-it’s just told in an alien story-but it’s about grief. How do I know? I could be an expert in grief-I wish that wasn’t true, but it is.

My father is dying and I can’t go out and see him, so I just write and write and hope that this sacrifice-not having a real job where I can say, “my father is dying, I need a week off”-is worth it.

I love my life and I wouldn’t change anything, but today for the first time in a long time, I wished I had a boring office job with sick time, paid holidays and steady paycheck.

I am beyond sad, as most of you know I lost my doggie of almost 14 years in Jan of this year. I also have lost my mother, and my brother. Never really had grandparents, but lost them too, so now my father is dying. He’s been in a home for some time now and I am the living Meredith Grey, but just because I know it’s coming, it doesn’t make it easier. I am beyond wrecked and can hardly think, but I can write.

My dad wouldn’t want me to be homeless to go see him like this, and you know if I lost my current job that could happen, but I still feel terrible because I am losing him and we have a strong connection.

When my mom died I called my dad and we were close even though far apart. He called me for my birthday at midnight and on NYE and on Christmas. I have missed that for the last 6 years. Since then, when he has a massive heart attack and should have died, I still talk to him on occasion, he is lucid more often than not and I send him cards every other day so he won’t forget me.

I will try to keep up with the blog, but it will be hard as I am finding it hard to breathe.

If your parents are still around, get off the internet and go tell them you love them. I would give anything for one more day with my parents. I am too young to not have them anymore and it sucks.

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Don’t Make Excuses for Your Work

I have worked in the entertainment industry in one way or another my entire life-literally since I was super young and the biggest no-no that I still see people doing is making excuses. I understand this is something that happens out of fear, but don’t do it-EVER.

In animation working as an artist has it’s ups and downs and we are always told to fix this or that, or change this or that-it is part of the job-writing is no different.

So when I started in animation and was showing my portfolio around I made the fatal mistake that kept me at the Cheesecake Factory and broke for an extra year. I was giving reasons for why what was in there wasn’t good-thus showing that I wasn’t ready, even though I was. I opened my book and when the guy reviewing it was looking at it and not saying how great it was, I started getting nervous. My hands got sweaty, my heart started beating-“he hates it, I suck, I can’t draw, omg!” -so I immediately started explaining it. “Well on this day, I was sick, and here the girl moved before I could draw her leg properly, and oh, don’t look at that, and this well it was 105 outside.” He closed the book and told me to NEVER do that again. He then lectured me, and rightly so, about how he was liking everything until I started pointing out all my mistakes.

As Homer Simpson would say, “Doh!”

I took that advice and never did it again, and this has translated to writing. I never ever send out a script and say, “Oh it’s my first draft, I wrote this all last night, it’s rough, it’s not developed, I have to fix this character, etc, etc.” I just send it out.

Recently I have started reading scripts and helping people with their queries etc, and I get excuses all the time.

Yesterday a girl sent me a pilot for a TV show and then 8 emails telling me why it wasn’t quite ready and it was a first draft and more. So when I opened the PDF I was thinking, “UGH, I don’t want to read this, it’s going to be awful.” And it wasn’t. This girl is a great writer and her script, drama pilot, is fresh, new, very dramatic and just all around good.

Of course with my notes back I told her to never do that again. She is strong enough to be confident about her work. Hell I am confident about stuff that sucks and people think it’s better.

I don’t intentionally write things that aren’t good, but come on, we all write duds, boring shit sometimes, but I am telling you being confident will sway the way someone reads your script. So my advice, don’t ever make excuses or apologize or send disclaimers-just send your work out at whatever stage you are in, just get it read.

Cinematic Storytelling and Directing the Director

Cinematic Storytelling and Directing the Director

By Jennifer Van Sijll

Let’s assume you have a great story. You’ve got a great hook, premise, structure, theme and characters. Despite these necessary qualities, it’s still anyone’s guess if you’ve got a great screenplay. Why? Because having a great story is only half the job. To get to the finish line, you also need a story that’s rendered cinematically. When the studio readers read your script they need to be able to imagine it up on the screen. If they can’t, you may have a great radio play or a budding novel, but it’s not a screenplay unless you write it as one.

Classic Script Examples

One of the quickest ways to understand how to write a cinematic script is to study some classic examples: Take a look at ET, Witness, Chinatown, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, or Raging Bull. None of these are written by writer-directors. For writer-director scripts you might read The Professional,Bound, Barton Fink, Pulp Fiction, Dead Man, The Piano, Boyz N the Hood or The Sixth Sense.

What these scripts have in common, whether written by screenwriters or writer-directors, is that they rely on cinematic tools to advance their stories. These writers use everything: sight, sound, motion, camera angles, camera lenses, transitions, editing, locations, graphics, and color, etc to tell their story. Of course these are not employed all at once, or even in every script, but are enlisted according to the needs of a specific story. Rather than rely on dialogue to tell the reader the plot, the writers demand that readers participate by translating their text into sound and picture. Consequently, readers have to construct the “screen” in their head and then decode it as the movie unfolds. This ups the readers’ emotional and psychological engagement, even if it’s subconscious, or maybe because it’s subconscious.

Let’s take a look at a concrete example. Here’s how Quentin Tarantino uses editing as a storytelling device in Pulp Fiction. The excerpt occurs midway in the script.

Cinematic Example: Editing – Pacing and Expanding Time

In the drug overdose scene, midpoint in the movie, Vincent (John Travolta) attempts to revive Mia (Uma Thurman) by stabbing Mia’s heart with a hypodermic needle filled with adrenalin. The scripted scene fills us with tension. We hold our breath hoping that Mia is going to make it.

The reason “we hold our breath” is because the script is written “already edited.” In this case it is edited to “milk the scene” and thereby pump up suspense.

So how does Tarantino do this?

Tarantino does this through overlapping action. He includes cuts to the needle, the red dot, and the faces of characters. These cuts lengthen the time needed for the real-time-event of the stabbing to occur. Although Vincent counts out three seconds on the dialogue track, it takes ¾ of a page for the moment to take place or 45 seconds of screen time. That means that we are holding our breath 15 times longer than Vincent’s three-second countdown suggests.

Through purposeful use of editing, the writer is guiding the reader’s emotional experience, and delivering a scene that can be imagined as a movie.

Writing in Shots

Tarantino accomplishes this by writing in shots. He doesn’t write in descriptive paragraphs like novelists. Each of his sentences implies a specific camera angle. “Implies” is the operative word here. Camera angles and lenses are not called out, but understood from his description.

The script’s pacing mimics what we will later see on screen. Paragraphing and sentence length suggest how long a shot will play on the screen. For example, a single one-sentence paragraph implies one shot. The implication is that it should play out longer on screen than would say, multiple shots implied in a four-line paragraph. The white space buys the single shot time. Adding an editorial aside like “Mia is fading fast. Nothing can save her now” is like saying “hold on the shot”. It again gains the shot more screen time.

Let’s take a look at how this is done in the actual script. This excerpt is taken from mid-scene.

The top line is from Tarantino’s script, where no camera information is given.
The parentheticals in the line below are my interpretation of the shot that is implied.

Excerpt from Pulp Fiction

Vincent lifts the needle up above his head in a stabbing motion. He looks down on Mia.
(LOOSE CLOSE-UP VINCENT) (VINCENT POV – MIA)

Mia is fading fast. Soon nothing will help her.
(HOLD ON MIA.)

Vincent’s eyes narrow, ready to do this.
(TIGHT CLOSE-UP – VINCENT)

VINCENT
Count to three.

Lance on his knees right beside Vincent, does not know what to expect.
(WIDE SHOT – LANCE AND VINCENT)

LANCE

One.

RED DOT on Mia’s body.
(CLOSE ON RED DOT )

Needle poised ready to strike.
(CLOSE ON NEEDLE)

LANCE
Two.

Jody’s face is alive in anticipation.
(CLOSE-UP JODY)

NEEDLE in the air, poised like a rattler ready to strike.
(CLOSE ON NEEDLE)

LANCE (OS)
Three!

The needle leaves the frame, THRUSTING down hard.
(CLOSE ON NEEDLE)

Vincent brings the needle down hard, STABBING Mia in the chest.
(MEDIUM SHOT)

Mia’s head is JOLTED from the impact.
(CLOSE ON MIA’S HEAD)

The syringe plunger is pushed down, PUMPING the adrenalin out through the needle.
(CLOSE ON SYRINGE PUMPER)

Mia’s eyes POP WIDE OPEN and lets out a HELLISH cry of the banshee.
(CLOSE-UP ON MIA’S EYES)
She BOLTS UP in a sitting position, needle stuck in her chest–SCREAMING
(WIDE SHOT – MIA)

Summary

In this brief page, Tarantino has implied 15 camera angles. Despite his use of camera, the reader isn’t taken out of the read because the script never calls out specific camera positions or angles.

Had Tarantino described the camera angles with 15 descriptors like CLOSE-UP ON MIA’S EYES, it would have been an unbearable read.

Tarantino was able to slow down real time by cutting away to objects and multiple reaction shots of the characters. He used editing and the inherent elasticity of the medium to help dramatize a pivotal moment and up the suspense.

Pacing was further aided by how Tarantino suggested shot length through paragraphing.

Directing the Director

Many new writers steer away from this kind of writing because they believe only writer-directors are allowed to do this. Somewhere they have read that screenwriters should not direct-the-director. They interpret this to mean that screenwriters should focus on scene description and dialogue exclusively.

The best way to dismantle this myth is to compare the screenplays of successful screenwriters with those of writer-directors. Take a look at Melissa Mathison’s ET and look at her use of camera angles and sound effects. Study the scripts of Robert Towne, Shane Black, or Larry Karaszewski & Scott Alexander.

What you will find is both sets of writers are well-practiced in writing cinematically. Both use the full complement of visual and aural messaging. They do so without calling attention to the technique. While they write cinematically they do so purposefully. They don’t throw in a 360 degree camera move just to have one, or describe everyone’s clothing and hair color, unless it’s important. Everything depends on the needs of the scene.

Writing cinematically is not the same as Directing-the-Director. Directing-the-director is when you write: “JOE’S POV WINDOW- LOW ANGLE,” instead of “Joe looks up at the window.” They mean the same thing. The first unnecessarily draws attention to camera information taking us completely out of the story. The second method implies it’s a POV shot and a low-angle, but it does not distract us with technical jargon.

Similarly if a tracking shot is essential to a scene it’s better to say “Joe jogs alongside Susan” rather than “TRACKING SHOT – JOE AND SUSAN JOGGING which is considered directing-the-director.

The Good Read

Writing cinematically requires understanding the language of film, knowing how to use it creatively and how to translate it into script form.

Editing is just one of the many film techniques. Lighting, sound effects, camera angles, camera position, transitions, space, framing and so on are other tools available to the writer.

Studio readers don’t want to read a novel that’s been poured into Final Draft. They expect to read a script that they can envision as movie.

Exploiting the tools of cinematic storytelling can’t turn a bad story into a great script, but it can help translate a good story into a cinematic screenplay. Worth a shot.

Meet the Author: Jennifer Van Sijll

Jennifer van Sijll, who has an MFA from USC’s Department of Cinema-Television, teaches screenwriting at San Francisco State and consults on film and television projects in San Francisco and Los Angeles.

Advice Before You Pay For Script Analysis or Coverage

You’re a struggling writer-we are all-this recession sucks-and you don’t have a lot of money but you know you need to get your script read, well make sure you are ready.

One way is to join a writing group and or show your script to other writers you know.

I have been reading a lot of scripts lately for people and I even started doing coverage-well am starting soon for a company-and there are a few stand out mistakes that make people look very very very amateur.

ONE: If you send me a script and then a page explaining the script-why it sucks, or what it will be when it’s finished, or how you meant to do this or that, but haven’t yet and or why you think it’s a comedy and a drama-you are NOT ready-go back and do your research and read several scripts-this goes for TV (comedy and drama) and films.

TWO: If you are insisting that I listen to music of any kind and or insist on visuals-your script is not ready-the only exception to visuals “may” be animation, but even then let the professionals do that-just write a solid story.

THREE: Structure and I don’t mean by page such in such this incident has to have happened, but I mean if you are writing a sitcom know sitcom structure and don’t send me a huge email explaining that it can go either multi or single cam. Pick one and write it. If you are writing a drama, especially of an established show, please follow the act breaks.

FOUR: Don’t ever apologize for your work. You are selling yourself and what you have just told me is that you think you aren’t good enough.

FIVE: Don’t ever tell me how much your mom loves your writing, or your best friend, or how everyone thinks you are hilarious.

I’m not trying to be a dick here, but come on people this is a business and there are tons of people trying to get the same job-me included.

Focus on STORY, there are tons of resources out there for help in this.

Read tons of scripts, TONS, as many as you can.

Watch movies and or television.

Take writing classes with people who specialize in what you are doing-comedy, go to a comedy writer etc.

None of what I am saying is new information or brain surgery and yet these are things I see all the time. I also don’t want to make anyone feel bad. When I switched to comedy a fellow writer friend told me about multi-single cam-before that I had no idea and so I was humble and accepted his advice as well as then studied and read scripts.

Look I am happy to take your money, you can send me whatever you want and keep paying me to help you fix these problems, but you could save yourself a lot of time  by just doing your research before you send your scripts out.

Drive & the Descendants

I watched both Drive and the Descendants again this week. I think the best thing about the Descendants was the dialogue and the best think about Drive was the way it was shot and both of them had great music that fit them perfectly.

They both had great acting and character development as well.

For such totally different films, they were both very well done. I liked them both more the second time around.

Okay who am I fooling here-the best thing about Drive? RYAN GODHEISSOGORGEOUSICOULDJUSTDIE GOSLING and the best thing about the Descendants? GEORGE HEISSOCLASSICLYHANDSOMETHATIWOULDN’TMINDEVENIFHEISOLD CLOONEY.

If we’re being honest…totally kidding, both films are great. One will have you crying and the other will have your cringing, but they will both have you thinking.

 

How To Write Treatments

I admit, I poached this off another writer’s blog-but the information is so clear and well written that I figured it was okay to share. Recently I worked on a job and they didn’t think it was important to have a treatment for the script, I suggested it several times-like banging my head against a wall-some people are just stubborn, but in any case. I STRONGLY believe in treatments. I think a well executed script is by far the most important thing you can have, but a treatment is like a great accessory-helps your script look great!

This is the article from August 2012 by J Gideon Sarantinos

Back in the days of yore, treatments were a 2-20 page narrative account of your story. How things have changed! Modern treatments are more like marketing documents and they often accompany a pitch meeting. They may contain some or all of the following elements:

• Logline 1-3 sentences

• Synopsis 3-5 sentences expanding on theme and plot

• Extended Synopsis: 1 page

• Main Character Breakdown: age, a brief physical description and their essence, such as the recently-widowed curmudgeon.

• Casting Suggestions: Although these are ultimately determined by the casting director, producers will often ask for your input to help visualize the product.

• Genre, tone and themes explored

• Target Audience: Let the studios worry about all-audience, four quadrant pictures. You need to be as specific as possible; such as 10-14 year old boys learning to skateboard. By defining your niche, you have already made headway in the marketing strategy.

• Budget: guerilla (no budget), microbudget ($50-500k), low budget ($1-10 million), medium ($20-40 million), high ($50-70 million) and blockbuster (over $100 million). I’ve left out some budget ranges because they vary depending on the producer.

• Artwork/ Visual Aids: only if it helps sell your project such as superhero movies and animations.

• Distribution: TV (cable or network), theatrical, festival, online or straight to DVD.

• Attachments: talent (by letters of intent) or expressions of interest from producers, distributors and exhibitors.

• For TV writers, you’re also expected to submit a pilot and an additional two or three episodes with the treatment.

Finally, don’t overlook the key ingredient of any presentation, whether verbal or written; PASSION. Where is the love? Too many executives bemoan that too many pitches and treatments are academic and lack heart. If you don’t get excited about your project, you can you expect someone else to do the same. So shake things up a bit.

My New YA Novel ~ RYUAN:DISCOVERY

This is my new YA novel. I used to write chick-lit only, but in the fall of 2010 on a very cold, wet, rainy day I got the inspiration for this story. I wrote the novel in the NaNoWriMo and then took a year going over it and revising it. I had set it in the Pacific Northwest but due to some other very popular teen/YA novels being set there I moved it to my old town of Bennington Vermont. I think it works better. I spent the fall doing revisions and changes to fit the new location and also fit some changes in future books that I have outlined-yes this is going to be a series.

RYUAN is the story of a 13 year old boy who is picked on and bullied at school because he is different and things get worse when he learns the truth that he is actually from another planet.

I wrote this book because of things I went through as a kid and as an adult-it’s really about grief, loss and not fitting it-wanting to be normal more than anything even when that isn’t going to happen. I made him an alien just to mess with him more and make his life harder. Unlike some other teen/YA novels, things don’t get easier when he finds out who he is, they get worse.

In any case, I am looking for a new agent for this project and sending out queries. In the meantime I am outlining the next books and working on book 2 as we speak.

ABC/DISNEY Fellowship is Soon.

Are you submitting to the ABC/DISNEY fellowship this year? Here are notes from last years event. There will be another one this year in April.

Notes From ABC/Disney Event

Below are notes from last week’s ABC/Disney Writer’s Fellowship event. Enjoy!

GENERAL INFO

• Last year, 1800 people applied. Space is limited to 8 spots this year.
• Program lasts one year. Fellows sign a one-year contract.
• Apply with one sample, a spec script
• Application materials should be placed on two CD’s: One containing the script, the other contains paperwork, release forms, two letters of recommendation (first year they are doing this).
• Deadline is June 1, 2011. Application must be postmarked by that date or the application does not proceed.
• All materials must be included in the package. If something is missing, even a “minor” document, the application does not proceed.
• Program is NOT a training program. Don’t look at it as a way to start your career, but to further it. The goal of the program is to staff each applicant. They have staffed every one in the last 4 years of the fellowship. Creative Executives are invested in the program and want finished fellows to be polished when they complete the fellowship.
• This is the only program that has been sanctioned by the WGA.
• Strong alumni component too (Jane Espenson, etc).

REVIEW PROCESS

• For the first round, 35 readers read all the submissions, and all the specs are subjectively scored, based on tone, character, story, pace, etc. Everything is read once.
• From that pile, the top 2-5% of the spec submissions are then dispersed internally to the ABC/Disney Fellowship staff, who read those submissions. The ABC staff will then call you and request additional material (emphasis on original material, pilots are best. You will likely need two pieces of material to show).
• After that, the group is cut down to about 25-30 candidates, and these finalists go through a three-tiered final round:
  • A mixer with execs, staff and past fellows with the program. This is where the social element comes into play.
  • The ABC staff meet with each of the final candidates.
  • A large panel interview, consisting of ABC staff, ABC execs. s
  • You end up being on your toes for a week and a half.

WHAT THEY LOOK FOR IN SUCCESSFUL CANDIDATES

• Make sure you can connect your own personality, life experiences and voice, into your writing. Brand yourself. Develop your own POV. This is most important.
• The writing has to be unique, but your social development, maturity and personality have to shine through as well. Do you play well with others? How do others perceive you?
• Tell us about YOU. Don’t say you want to be a TV writer or that you are a hard worker. Get personal, let ABC understand who you are. What has been your journey?
• A personal resume is key, as well. Don’t need to have an agent, or to have been staffed, to apply, but experience within the industry, an ability to show that you are able to stay in the industry, is important.
• They look at letters of recommendation early in the process.
• If you have applied previously and did not get it, it is not a mark against you.

WHAT WRITING THEY LOOK FOR.

• It is better to decide, from the get go, whether you want to be a comedy or drama writer.
• Again, a unique POV is key to your writing. What unique perspective do you have?
• Write your voice. Make it stand out. Execute it to perfection.
• Don’t need to spec an ABC show to gain acceptance, but keep in mind, if you get in, that the goal is for you to be staffed on one of the ABC/Disney/ABC Family shows.
• Previous specs that have been successfully submitted include: GOOD WIFE, JUSTIFIED, HOUSE, GLEE, PRETTY LITTLE LIARS, MODERN FAMILY, ITS ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA and PARTY DOWN
• The program tries to accept a balance of comedy and drama applicants.
• An example of a standout script that they accepted was an UGLY BETTY when Betty goes to LA and wears a dress that was designed for America Ferrara. Some of the readers didn’t think it reflected the show, but it did stand out and the ABC staff liked it enough to bring the applicant in for an interview.

ONCE YOU ARE IN:

• First 30 days: go through a variety of workshops (acting, improv, how to break story, writers room). Consultants come in.
• Afterwards, fellows start pitching what their first specs are going to be.
• Fellows are matched with Creative Execs at the network or studio. This is a way to help build the company as well.  They have advisory conversations about what they should write next.

WHAT PREVIOUS FELLOWS HAD TO SAY

• Tony:
  • Wrote a Modern Family and a Party Down.
  • Wanted to write stories that reflected his background: born in Taiwan, grew up in New Jersey. Cultural upbringing.
  • When you pitch yourself: bring in human stories about you that allow others to connect to you on a 3D level.

• Vladimir:
  • Wrote a JUSTIFIED.
  • He talks about how something that happened to him early in his life connects to the way he approaches his antagonists in his scripts.

Swimming Instead of Just Surviving

I have been saying that I have been drowning for years, and it is true. Animation crashed and I have been barely surviving and something has to change. I want to write full time. Do I love to draw? Sure! Am I good at my day job in animation? Sure, it’s been 17 years, yes I am. My passion is writing and storytelling though.

What has happened to me and continues to happen is I get on a freelance job and work 80-100 hours per week and write on the side, then the job ends and I am so worried, panicked and scared that I spend hours every single day looking for work. This takes time and is a drain.

Finally last week I decided, fuck this, I am going to swim instead of just keep my head above water. What I mean is, instead of spending hours a day looking for work-filling out long applications-doing long tests-I am going to focus on my career-or swim towards my future.

Yes I will still look for work, but it is not going to consume me. Writing needs to. I have no problems getting tons of writing done, but if no one knows that I have done the writing, where is it going to get me? No where fast.

This week I have started really spending time doing query letters for my new YA novel, RYUAN. I spent a year writing this book and I love it and I want to do a series, so I need to get it out there.

Last month I finished my original pilot and revised my screenplay, and now they sit on my computer so instead of trolling Craigslist I am going to contact agents and get my stuff read so I can move forward and get out of this huge ocean of terror that I am always in.

I have started making plans every day for what hour I will write, look for agents, and query and then after I do that I will job search. Meanwhile when I get some animation work soon, I will still write.

I love animation and have already started working on an animated film with a studio in Italy. I will be writing the script with a few people there, and that is very exciting.

I just wanted to share with all of you because I know how hard this business is, and we can all do it if we just put our minds to swimming instead of surviving.