Feeling Like I Suck & Getting Past That Shit, Quick!

Believe it or not, I feel this way all the time, then I read some of my work, published or not and am like, “wait a minute, that was pretty good”, but you know how it is when there is no paycheck (YET) to back it up? The ego takes a beating, and or when someone whose stuff you actually think sucks, gets a job you want? Yeah, that can do a number on the strongest of writers.

I try to always stay positive and just write because I love to write. Honestly I NEVER think about money when I am writing, yeah, fair enough I would never put in a dinner scene with 15 people and ironically the guests at the WGA panel last night were saying just that. I wouldn’t do it because I know it would get cut. I know about production, so in the case of thinking about money, I do only if I really don’t want something to get cut. I used to be an actress and so I know all about how long certain things are going to take. I also don’t put huge complicated FX scenes with explosives and crashes, action scenes are easy to write and can be added later after the budget is worked out.

I concentrate on characters and story, the rest will come. I fully believe that if you keep your eye on the prize instead of the bullseye, you will miss forever. That said, I want to just write!!!!

I write because I love to write and I hope that I am decent enough that people will want to read my work, and I do get great responses sometimes and I always get the most wanted reply in Hollywood, “What else you got?”, but every time I get a rejection letter, it is like a knife in my gut and I feel defeated. “What the hell am I doing?” Then I remember, it is just like acting and even animation, there are a million different reasons that I could be getting that letter and most likely none of them had anything to do with my actual writing.

The point of this, I guess I am just saying to suck it up, you don’t suck, I don’t suck and hey even if you do suck, bad films and TV shows get made all the time!!

Today I am on my way to meet the head writer on one of my fav soaps and my dream job. Will anything come out of it? Not sure, but I am hopeful today and then inspired to work on my novel.

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Writing Writing Writing! What?

I am working on a new novel, which I am calling Slanted Houses right now. It is about a girl who goes to San Francisco to jump of the Golden Gate Bridge, but due to her fear of heights she hesitates and then she meets Ben. She doesn’t jump, her life completely changes and then there is a huge twist.
I love the way this storyline is unfolding and I am excited about the fact that I now have two publishers interested. Be ready to see this on the shelves of Barnes & Noble soon!! :0)

I also am developing two television series and have put them on hold, but still am working out the storylines. Namaste is about a hitman, and I have been doing a lot of research w/ mob movies and shows, as well as assassin storylines to get it right. This man does this horrible job for a living, but you have to love him. I have 10 episodes outlined and synopsis for all 20, you know assuming I sell it and it goes 20 episodes, not 9, 12, or 14 like some cable on shows.

My other story, Uli Driscoll is about an undercover agent protecting a girl who has no idea she needs protection. The hero in that story is straight up hero stuff, but I have to give him that something extra, so you will care to tune in every week for at least 5 years. I am working on it.

My romantic comedy, Coffee, Tea or Duty Free? is almost done. This is a film and yes it was a novel that I started years ago. Hollison O’Reilly is a flight attendant who dates, moves in w/. gets engaged and even has a wedding day with 3 different guys. It has been a long process to make her lovable even though she is doing this to 3 people and I didn’t want her to get out of it the easy way.

Stolen Bases is also a novel turned into a screenplay and that is all outlined, but I am still working out the kinks, it may be a better novel than film, I am working.

I am also doing another Katie Roger’s story and writing a couple shorts for magazines.

How are you doing?

Almost There, But How Does It Really Work?

Wow! So big news for me yesterday! I am at my temporary freelance job, where I am learning how to draw with basically my left foot which is no where near paper or even the computer screen~talk about a disconnect! (I do love it though!!)

Anyhow, so I’m there drawing (Ha! if you can call it that) jamming away to Britney (yes I still love my girl Brit), away when I hear a BEEP BEEP on my phone, I roll my eyes and pick it up because I know it is just another email that I can’t be arsed to read, and to my surprise it is an email from my old agent (who has been shopping my screenplay-you know he wants to make sure it will sell before he resigns me-bad boyfriend theory in place), so he emails me and the email says. “Hi Steph, consider your screenplay sold. I’ll be in touch. Agent X” YIPPEEEE!!

Well as I am reading the message and I can hardly believe it, and of course I want to jump up and down in the studio, but don’t. I send a text message to three people and while I am doing that, the voice mail BEEP goes off in my bloody ear. It is a message from my agent.

The deal is this. He is working a deal for me, and I guess a couple studios are making offers, I don’t know how it all works yet. I have heard from other screenwriters that this is the way it goes when you are new, but all I can hear is: Consider it sold! I will keep you posted!

My first screenplay, my little baby!

NaNo~NaNo?

Today is the beginning of my new novel. I am doing the NaNoWriMo….which is the National Novel Writing Month. You write a novel in a month. It’s fast, it’s furious, it is fun!

I wrote my second novel during the NaNo in 2006 and had no idea what it was going to be about, but it turned out great and I was published just half a year later! (Traditional too!)

So this month, I am going to put all scripts aside, not because I don’t love them anymore, but just to get back to my roots. I started as a novelist and so I return to novels, my first love!

I have completed the Grey’s spec, the Psych is fully outlined, my second pilot is done and two of my films are outlined, they can all wait while I write this novel. In December when I return to them, who knows how I will feel. I think the time will do me well.

I am so excited about my idea, but I don’t have a title which is bugging me, oh well!

Clock starts now!